Hoarding/Cluttering Support Group

Frequently Asked Questions
FAQs

HCSG Support Group

What is Hoarding?
>>People with hoarding disorder excessively save items that others may view as worthless and have persistent difficulty getting rid of or parting with possessions, leading to clutter that disrupts their ability to use their living or work spaces. Hoarders also often have difficulty organizing their possessions. 

Where can I read more about Hoarding?
>> https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/hoarding-disorder/what-is-hoarding-disorder
>> https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Hoarding-Fact-Sheet.pdf

What are some things about Hoarding/Cluttering that I might not know?
>> Hoarding tendencies may be present in as many as 1 in 20 people.
>> Hoarders are often well educated, highly intelligent and creative people.
>> It seems that there are often health issues that prevent a hoarder from being able to declutter as productively as they might like to, once they are ready to do so.
>> Hoarding tendencies often “run in families”.
>> Hoarding behavior may get worse after the hoarder experiences a traumatic event or serious loss, such as the death of a spouse or parent.
>> Hoarding was once believed to be related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but has recently been recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a distinct disorder that may occur along with other disorders or may be the only disorder identified.

Why do people hoard?
>> Reasons include: Sentimental value, Decision making, Organizing, Responsibility, Control/Perfection, Scared of Forgetting/Perfectionism, Letting go of things
See more on these reasons here: http://understanding_ocd.tripod.com/hoarding1_why.html

Why should I stop being a ClutterBug?
>> To save money! - Clutter/Disorganization is expensive!
>> To reduce stress! - Clutter/Disorganization causes stress!
>> Less clutter and better organization gives you more time for what you really want to do in life!
>> Less clutter and better organization brings peace to yourself as well as your family!
>> To set an example for your family, and so that your friends will want to be you!!
>> See details on the above here:
        https://www.bbvacompass.com/moneyfit/savings-and-budgeting/why-being-disorganized-costs-you-money.jsp  
>> More on the cost of clutter: http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/04/26/the-cost-of-clutter/
>> See also: http://www.becomingminimalist.com/minimalism-benefits/

How do I get my family/friends to understand?
>> Have them read this, “How to Talk to Someone with Hoarding Disorder Do’s and Don’ts”:
https://www.masshousing.com/portal/server.pt/gateway/PTARGS_0_2_2738_0_0_18/How_to_Talk_to_Someone_with_Hoarding_Problem.pdf

My family member/friend/loved one is a Hoarder. How can I get them to (or help them to) change?
>> Attempts by family and friends to help with de-cluttering may not be well received by the person who hoards. It is helpful to keep in mind:
    • Until the person is internally motivated to change they may not accept your offer to help.
    • Motivation cannot be forced.
    • Everyone, including people who hoard, has a right to make choices about their objects and how they live.
    • People who hoard are often ambivalent about accepting help and throwing away objects.

Can’t compulsive hoarding be solved by simply cleaning out the home?
>> No. Attempts to “clean out” the homes of people who hoard without treating the underlying problem usually fail. Families and community agencies may spend many hours and thousands of dollars clearing a home only to find that the problem recurs, often within just a few months. Hoarders whose homes are cleared without their consent often experience extreme distress and may become further attached to their possessions. This may lead to their refusal of future help.

How do I have a conversation with my friend of family member who is ready to talk about hoarding?
>> When a person seems willing to talk about a hoarding problem, follow these guidelines:
    • Respect. Acknowledge that the person has a right to make their own decisions at their own pace.
    • Have sympathy. Understand that everyone has some attachment to the things they own. Try to understand the importance of their items to them.
    • Encourage. Come up with ideas to make their home safer, such as moving clutter from doorways and halls.
    • Team up with them. Don’t argue about whether to keep or discard an item; instead, find out what will help motivate the person to discard or organize.
    • Reflect. Help the person to recognize that hoarding interferes with the goals or values the person may hold. For example, by de-cluttering the home, a person may host social gatherings and have a richer social life.
    • Ask. To develop trust, never throw anything away without asking permission.

Where do I start?
    >> Start small. Pick a small area (the top of a table, top of a bookcase or a small space on the floor) and just get started. Sort things into things you can trash, things you can recycle or donate, things you want to sell (yardsale, maybe) and things you want to keep. Do those actions with the items – and for the things you are keeping, put them away where they belong (kitchen items to the kitchen, bathroom items to the bathroom, bedroom items to the bedroom, etc.). Celebrate your successes! Post them in the group, and we will help you celebrate and cheer you on!! Do a little (15 minutes – set a timer) every day. Before long, you will be able to see the difference. You can do more, if you feel inspired, but don’t overdo – and definitely take breaks when you are tired. If you burn yourself out, you won’t want to come back to the decluttering. That is bad. You can do this!!
    >> Here’s more detail on this approach: http://organizedhome.com/cut-clutter/declutter-101-where-do-I-start
    >> There are lots of different approaches and lots of blogs on this subject. Find the approach and blog that inspires you and get busy! Here are some that we like:
    >> http://zenhabits.net/15-great-decluttering-tips/
    >> http://weorganizeu.com/coming-clutterfree-home/
    >> http://kellyandcindy.com/heck-sparkle-zone/
    >> http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/
    >> http://orgjunkie.com/2012/12/when-you-dont-know-where-to-start.html
    >> More at: http://bemorewithless.com/declutteryourhome/

Be sure to take before pics! You don't have to share them with anyone else, but you will be so glad you have them. They will help you see your progress.

You’re going to want to bookmark this!!
It’s “The Ridiculously Thorough Guide to Decluttering Your Home”
     >> http://www.budgetdumpster.com/resources/how-to-declutter-your-home.php


What can I do about paper clutter?
    >> http://blog.rubbermaid.com/home/2012/01/paper-everywhere/
    >> http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/7793707/list/Get-Organized--Are-You-a-Piler-or-a-Filer-

Financial Records – What do I keep and for how long (for US):
    >> http://www.suzeorman.com/resource-center/record-keeping/

Financial Records – What do I keep and for how long (for UK):
    >> http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/record-keeping.htm

 
What can I do about clothes clutter?
    >> http://orgjunkie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/11-Ways-to-Part-With-Your-Clothes.pdf

What can I do about books?
    >> How to declutter your books: http://taramaemulroy.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/decluttering-books/
    >> How to organize your books: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/organizing-books-136728

What can I do about containers (boxes, paper and plastic bags)?
    >> http://www.organizedbytina.com/2011/02/05/organize-your-kitchen-13-plastic-ware-reusables/
    See also:
    >> http://smallnotebook.org/2011/01/12/container-clutter-confessions/

How do I stay motivated and not procrastinate?
    >> http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13042/6-tips-to-get-motivated-when-youre-feeling-depressed.html
    >> https://www.reed.edu/academic_support/pdfs/handouts/6%20kinds%20of%20procrastinators.pdf
    >> http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/02/how-to-make-yourself-work-when-you-just-dont-want-to/

Are there Guiding Principles for clearing our clutter?
    >> Here are 10 Fundamental Decluttering Principles that can help us Clear Our Clutter.
    (There’s detail on each principle in the referenced article.)
    1. Stop the Flow of Stuff Coming In.
    2. Declutter at Least One Item a Day.
    3. Declutter the Easy Stuff First.
    4. Put a Disposal Plan in Place.
    5. Decide to Not Keep Things out of Guilt or Obligation.
    6. Do Not Be Afraid to Let Go.
    7. Gifts Do Not Have to be Material.
    8. Do Not Over-Equip Your Home.
    9. Do Not Declutter Things that are not Yours Without the Owner’s Permission.
    10. Do Not Waste Your Life on Clutter.
    Source:  http://www.becomingminimalist.com/decluttering-principles/

What are some rules to prevent clutter from increasing?
    >> One in, One out (or you can also do: One In, Two Out) – If you don’t have a place for something, take something out of the house, to make room for what you brought in.
Keep the Best – Get Rid of the Rest!
    >> If it’s broken, it can’t come in – Procrastination is one of the biggest factors in creating clutter. You probably won’t get around to it. You have too much to do already!
    >> Don’t fall for freebies – You’re not likely to use the “stuff”:  Leave it for someone who actually *would* use it.
    >> Ignore your inner shopaholic – It’s not a bargain if you’re not going to use it! (My mom always used to say this!) – Even if it’s Free!!!

Are there any things I should *not* do when I’m decluttering?
    >> http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/what-not-to-do_1-168836

What are some online resources that I can use to research Hoarding?
    >> https://hoarding.iocdf.org/about-hoarding/
    >> http://weorganizeu.com/downloads/7-habits-that-rob-you-of-time.pdf
    >> http://www.helpforhoarders.co.uk/self-help/
    >> http://www.compulsive-hoarding.org

Are there some videos that would help me understand Hoarding better?
    >> https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hoarding+iocdf&page=&utm_source=opensearch
    Look for these titles:
        Classic Profile of Hoarding Disorder
        Causes of Hoarding
        Ways to Help a Family Member Who Hoards
        Non-Shopping Trip
        Downward Arrow
    >> http://www.helpforhoarders.co.uk/self-help/ (scroll down to the bottom of page)

Are there any books that you would recommend?
    >> Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding - Tolin, Frost, & Steketee
    >> Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things - Frost & Steketee
    >> The Hoarder in You: How to Live a Happier, Healthier, Uncluttered Life - Robin Zasio
    >> The Secret Lives of Hoarders: True Stories of Tackling Extreme Clutter – Matt Paxton
    >> Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding: Why You Save and How You Can Stop - Neziroglu, Bubrick & Yaryura-Tobias
    >> More: http://www.compulsive-hoarding.org/Reading.html 
 
What are some tips or techniques that have helped others – and that I might want to try?
    >> Sometimes we really can't "see" the stuff in our rooms. Many of us have discovered that taking photos - and then looking at the photos - helps us to see our "stuff" with a new "eye".
    >> Covering areas with a sheet – This is similar to taking photos, but with this, you’re blocking off the areas you are not working on. This lets you focus only on the area that you can see, the area that is not covered by the sheet(s).
    >> Set a timer! Set your timer for 15 minutes, and then when it goes off, quit and take a break. You can also do this for 10 minutes or five minutes. Whatever works for you.
Repeat at least once each day – or maybe twice a day. Whatever you feel comfortable doing…
    >> Set a goal of doing a set amount of decluttering each week day – or at whatever intervals you are willing to commit to. 15 minutes each day or week day is enough to make a difference. Really! Use the timer, if you want to. Remember to take breaks.
    >> The tried and tested process is to pick a small area and focus on that – one table top, one shelf, one drawer, or one box at a time. Be careful not to just churn things over (just move things from one place to another). You want to have designated areas (boxes/bags) for Trash/Recycle, Donate/Sell, and Keep. (If it makes more sense for you, you can separate these into as many as five or as few as three areas.) Don’t keep a “Think About It” pile. Make decisions!
    If you are keeping a thing, put like things together and designate a “home” for those things. Having a home for every item is crucial to maintaining. Get the Trash/Recycle and Donate/Sell items out of the house and to their ultimate destinations as quickly as possible!
    Changing hoarding behaviour is about learning to make decisions, and it takes practice. Practice making the decisions based on your own discarding list. This could include:
    >> Would I buy this item again if I saw it in the shop?
    >> Is it current and in good working order?
    >> Do I have space to keep it?
    >> Do I love it?
    >> Here are some other questions you might want to ask:
        http://www.365lessthings.com/declutter-dessision-making-guide/
    >> There is also a process I read about in a comment in an article. They called it “Fire Sale”.
        To do it, just close your eyes and imagine that you had a fire and lost everything in your home (god forbid). Now for the fun part.                 When you refurbish your home with stuff, what would you re-buy that you can’t live without? …Really think about it.
        Would you re-buy that pile of clothes that still have tags from 2 years ago? Would you really re-buy every single knick knack, or just the most important ones? Or that stinky teddy bear from your adult son's childhood?
        …If not, take a picture and let it go!

Just take a deep breath and start with a few simple things.
> Let the feeling of accomplishment sit with you for a day.
> You will feel a few pounds lighter and start to get mentally clearer,
You can do it!

 


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